‘Star Trek Beyond’ Review: Boldly Dumber than Before
‘Star Trek Beyond’ is essentially an elaborate single episode of the original 1960s TV series, with the crew visiting a distant planet, getting in trouble, and eventually kicking some alien butt....
View Article‘Jason Bourne’ Review: The Bourne Addendum
Nine years ago, ‘The Bourne Identity’ trilogy wrapped up pretty succinctly and seemed like the sort of thing that should be left alone. Then came ‘The Bourne Legacy’, an unnecessary spinoff that...
View Article‘Mechanic: Resurrection’ Review: Magnificently Stupid Statham Camp
It’s impossible to call ‘Mechanic: Resurrection’ a “good” movie with a straight face. No, that’s not right at all. It’s far too stupid for that, downright ludicrous even. And yet… I can’t pretend that...
View Article‘Blair Witch’ Review: Project Run Away!
Hard though it may be to believe, it’s been a full 15 years since ‘The Blair Witch Project’ ushered Found-Footage horror and internet marketing into mainstream filmmaking. It seemed like the series...
View Article‘Phantasm: Ravager’ Review: Another Tale from the Tall Man
From the very beginning, ‘Phantasm’ was unlike any other horror franchise. Nearly 40 years later, the latest offering, ‘Phantasm: Ravager’, is made purely for fans and yet would likely make about as...
View Article‘Jack Reacher: Never Go Back’ Review: Cruise Shouldn’t Have Gone Back
‘Jack Reacher’ might have made buckets of cash a few Christmases ago because the Tom Cruise production starring Tom Cruise featured Tom Cruise beating up bad guys in Tom Cruisian fashion. However, it...
View Article‘Bad Santa 2’ Review: Been There, Sworn That
‘Bad Santa’ was a delightful lump of comedy coal delivered in the 2003 holiday season. Somehow, the R-rated X-mas piss-take became a theatrical hit and a perennial holiday favorite on cable channels...
View Article‘Underworld: Blood Wars’ Review: Stop It
Hey, remember when everyone was obsessed with those ‘Underworld’ movies? I’ll bet you don’t because that never actually happened. Yet here we are, 14 years later, and there are still sequels being...
View Article‘xXx: Return of Xander Cage’ Review: Spectacular Stupidity
I guess at a certain point we’ll have to start calling Vin Diseal an auteur. Thanks to the ever-mounting success of the batshit insane ‘Fast & Furious’ franchise, the 49-year-old actor/producer has...
View Article‘Resident Evil: The Final Chapter’ Review: One More for the Road
It’s hard to believe that anyone involved in 2002’s ‘Resident Evil’ ever imagined they’d still be adding chapters 14 years later. Easily the most successful franchise in the much-maligned genre of...
View Article‘Rings’ Review: Back to the Well
Considering that the movie has been through four release dates and hinges on dead technology, you’ll likely be incredibly unsurprised to hear that ‘Rings’ isn’t a particularly good film. Matter of...
View Article‘John Wick: Chapter 2’ Review: Yeah, He’s Thinking He’s Back
It’s hard to imagine that Keanu Reeves knew he was setting up his third successful franchise when he signed up for ‘John Wick’. The modest action flick helmed by a pair of ‘Matrix’ stunt veterans must...
View Article‘Fifty Shades Darker’ Review: Softcore Porn without the Heart
How bad is ‘Fifty Shades Darker’? Bad enough that it actually made me consider the positive qualities of ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’. Don’t get me wrong, that bondage romance was absolute drivel, but at...
View Article‘Goon: Last of the Enforcers’ Review: A Hokey Hockey Sequel
A few years ago, the hockey comedy ‘Goon’ proved to be a pleasant surprise by being both disarmingly sweet and disorientingly filthy. Now the sequel has arrived and somehow seems to get everything...
View Article‘T2 Trainspotting’ Review: Choose Life… Again
After years of speculation, rumor and in-fighting, ‘T2 Trainspotting’ has finally arrived. It’s one of the most unexpected sequels to shuffle onto screens in years and, thankfully, it’s also one of the...
View ArticlePoll: Rank the Furiouses
With an eighth movie speeding into theaters this weekend and a collective box office gross of close to $4 billion dollars, the ‘Fast and Furious’ series is one of Hollywood’s biggest movie franchises....
View Article‘The Fate of the Furious’ Review: Big, Bald, Bad and Back
Crack a Corona, snort some NOS, and do whatever else it takes to kill some brain cells because the ‘Fast and Furious’ franchise is back! It’s been two long years since ‘Furious 7’, and thanks to that...
View Article‘Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2’ Review: Freaky Family Issues (Plus Space...
‘Guardians of the Galaxy’ felt like the sci-fi daydreams of an imaginative kid staring at psychedelic albums covers and stacks of Jack Kirby comics while listening to pop radio hits in the late 1970s....
View ArticleContest: Win ‘Fifty Shades Darker’ on Blu-ray
Yes, we’re really doing this. We’re giving away the ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ sequel ‘Fifty Shades Darker‘ on Blu-ray. Don’t pretend you’re not curious. I’m not going to lie, when first offered this...
View Article‘Bon Cop Bad Cop 2’ Review: Tres Stupide
‘Bon Cop Bad Cop’ felt like a dated relic in 2006. Now 11 years later, the sequel delivers the leftover scrapings of a relic, a sequel that will please only the most nostalgic of gas station DVD...
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